One of the things in life that causes the feminine to deteriorate is stress.
There is no bigger killer out there.
If you want to kill a woman, cause her massive amount of stress. Period.
It is subtle, pushy and twisted and brings us only things that we do not desire.
We can see it clearly in the conversations that are avoided, the silences that are long and deep and poignant of residue, in the eyes that stare with a hungry look, in the things that take away the joy and sneak up on us monitoring and not understanding, in the lack of knowing what questions to ask, and in the points of view that hold together families and bloodlines but not at all the freedom of the heart.
Stress is an awful killer.
So how do you deal with stress?
Although I don’t consider myself a master of stress, I have been faced with stress in various ways in life. I have found some simple tools that help in any situation to reconnect with the essential within my feminine world. There are probably many ways to handle stress, in a way of creating peace and bringing more compassion these are some practical tools I have found to work.
- Meditation & Prayer: although the two are quite different being able to still the mind and the triggers from the outside do not hold the same effect on the psyche and the heart. Calming the mind and bringing centered relaxation, reconnecting with the breath and knowing that the solutions are many allows for the energy of stress to move out and for the peace to permeate the situation. Prayer allows for the larger connection with the Holy that you believe is your source.
- Boundary: in cultivating feminine energy it is most important to know where you begin and where you end, the healthy self, the one that knows and looks after you, the healthy ego does not allow for harm to take place this is why it is there, and yet in the attempt to go to “spiritual-heights” we forget the value that healthy self-has. Reconnect with the essence of your feminine radiant heart power that knows already and innately what is right and what is wrong. With the boundary well established, less stress will come into your life, and you will know what to let go of and what most essential in the heart to hold onto.
- Rest – I call it the Sacred Pause: Make a scared-pact with yourself that you take the time you need to do the things you need for yourself. That you rest. That you remove yourself from the people, situations, and circumstances that are causing you stress. There are many draining things in life, there can be sometimes more and sometimes less. Knowing when to take the rest and how to pull your energy inwards so to conserve the heart. During the sacred pause, you do not have to make decisions or choices [you can if you want to]. It is like resting in the water, suspended in the IS-ness of what is happening and at the same time not allowing the external circumstances of the situation to affect you in any way.
- Let go/Leave: completely of what you want to hold onto. I found the biggest healing comes in complete and total letting go. There are magic and sacredness in just dropping it all, forever, for a moment, for a lifetime, for 5 minutes. This is the hardest for some and the easiest for others. There is a fine line in doing this, as you do not want to bypass and avoid what is happening. Notice what feelings arise, how you feel in response to the stress. You want to allow yourself to let go of the stress and into your own feminine being, from there you can see whether there is something to salvage or not.
- Look for the positive: sometimes in the midst of horrible situations, it may seem impossible to find anything positive to see. Return back into your feminine self and pull the energy back into your heart. Place your hands on your heart and breathe in deeply into your chest. Trust that in the breath that you take you are pulling back what is your vital essence from the spaciousness around you and that you return into the body the energy that is yours. You do not need to try and make up positive things about other people who are causing stress or situation, you only need to return your attention back into your own feminine core and rest in that seat. The positive lies within yourself actually, and if you allow yourself to see it, there will be a transformative power. This also releases all others from the need to validate you and offer you praise, you grow a thicker skin to the external and a softer core you will know how to share with the right people. Remember your feminine divinity. Honor it.
- Create Beauty: in whatever way you can, MAKE BEAUTY, with your food, with your body, with the sounds, the tastes, the textures, with all of it, Make beauty – the real beauty that speaks to your feminine will nurture beyond words and time. adorn yourself with beautiful things.
- Nourish the body: in whatever ways you can nurture the physical body, yoga, walking, healthy food, massage, conscious sex, sleep, back to rest.
- Realign the inner world: usually when stress strikes unexpectedly and strongly, it is time to really ask yourself “What in my inner universe needs an alignment?” Once you can determine where the dis-ease resides you can make changes accordingly and return to the equanimity within your feminine being. For me, I had this inner struggle with the blood family and my Buddhist practice. Until I was able to take a firmer stand for the awakening and my own feminine and my Buddhist practice I was continuously getting knocked down. Surround yourself with people whom you fully trust and who support you completely. People who’s hearts and core values are on the same page, who see you for who you are [not your stories and projections] and who reach out to you with the best intention. Allow space for the “rest-of-the-world” and observe carefully how people treat you. Your Inner world alignment practice [next article]
- Connect with the essential Holy in your life: tieing it full circle into meditation and prayer, do what you can to remain in connection with the things that are of most highest value, whether through reading, listening, practicing, conversation – these holy-sacred-moments will bring more equilibrium and correct resonance with your being and spirit.
- Remain Objective: This is often forgotten when we are hit by stress, our emotions take over us, much comes to the surface. Remaining objective and honest with ourselves is the biggest gift we can offer to the moment and allows for the stress to dissolve in a way. Objectivity takes away the emotionality and facts can be looked at more directly within this context we disengage from entanglements and own our sacred feminine power.
- Recommit to what you value the most: The truth is that there will be relationships that will not heal. For many reasons. The healing that will happen will take place only in your own heart. Recommit to the things and people and places that you value the most and that have stood the test of time. When you recommit to what you value most you will call in on your own feminine energy and retract from the situations and people who are not in alignment. This will greatly reduce your stress. Do not allow your mind to wonder into the places of suffering unattended. With mindfulness practices continue to recommit to the healthy whole and sacred feminine within your being.
- Give thanks: for what is already working in your life. There is always something to be grateful for. The things that are working and
- Maturity: this is an important point to remember in dealing with stress is to have a mature perspective on the situation. Maturity will call you to tap into your own sophistication and access a more responsible level of femininity where you can consider a broader perspective. Vast View. You will then know where to reach out for proper resources and how to interpret wisdom beyond the person into the awake.
Tara Devi Shakti