And why you must!
As little girls when we grow up we sooner or later realize that Santa Clause is not real, we also realize that there is no actual Easter Bunny who hides the eggs (chicken ones at that).
Yet somehow we forget to let go of prince charming story. Instead as women we often live thinking someone will come in on a white horse and save us, or that a charming man will show up and sweep us off our feet. We grow up disillusioned by fame, money and power and forget to see the whole person.
Reality is dear sister you have to wake up yourself and save yourself.
Number of things will change when you save yourself:
- You will make more money – you are your own promised land, when you are not waiting for someone else’s bank account or a lottery ticket you learn how to support yourself and give yourself what you need and desire – your saving account grows
- You will approach relationships from a space of co-creation rather than taking
- Your relationship to giving and receiving will shift – you will exit the victim/rescuer/perpetrator cycle
- Your relationship to life will change because you wont wait for something in the future, you will be living in the present moment rather than imagining someone to save you.
A recent story in the media in Canada, plus a conversation with a colleague inspired me to write this article. The case is about a woman who is coming out and speaking of her abuse she went through when she was 26. The Jian Case of Reva Seth – You can read more here if you are interested.
This is not the first case like this, and I think it shows where feminine psyche in today’s world needs to evolve. Women are graduating from universities with influential degrees and are successful in their work yet in their most primal and intimate levels lack basic education.
I worked as a nurse for over 10 years, 3 of these years I worked in psychiatry related field. Initially when I finished nursing for my last practicum in Canada I went to Ponoka, one of canada’s largest mental institutions.
Some of the psychopaths looked exactly like any one else – yet there was a very different vibe around them. There was a different look in their eyes and obvious lack of stability that would appear unexpectedly. We all received training in how to deal with these people without harming them, to maintain their human dignity.
I thought at that time that psychiatry is what I wanted to work in, shortly after the 2 week practicum I changed my mind and went to work in neurology.
Psychiatry was way too intense.
I am deeply grateful for those 2 weeks and later on for years worked with elderly who suffered from schizophrenia and other mental disorders, I received some powerful transmissions about the ‘charm-of-desperation-and-anger’
When we as women let go of the illusions and stories of charming man – and allow ourselves to see life with sober eyes, we can avoid such harmful situations. As women [Tweet “it is time we consciously exit the game that others want to pull us into.”]
Rather than pointing fingers and blaming who is responsible for it, abusing the abuse for other reasons I propose a different – much more evolved in my opinion view – [Tweet “how about we take responsibility for our actions in life”] Stop the story, and apply common-sense.
Oxford dictionary defines common and sense as such:
common |ˈkämən| adjective
– occurring, found, or done often; prevalent:
– shared by, coming from, or done by more than one:
sense |sens| noun
– a faculty by which the body perceives an external stimulus; one of the faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch:
– a feeling that something is the case:
– a sane and realistic attitude to situations and problems:
– a way in which an expression or a situation can be interpreted; a meaning:
The definition of common sense is then to frequently and often practice perceiving external stimuli through your five senses while making sane, and realistic choices and taking sober attitudes towards life and situations.
While sane denotes someone who is in right mind, balanced and stable, realistic means to be grounded and in touch with the facts.
Reality does not include a story (fairy tale). Reality is concrete, tangible and mundane. From this ground – and this ground only – we can create miracles and live awake.
As women we need to consciously practice when and where and how to open up in vulnerable ways so that we know what a really authentic heart connection feels like. Cultivate these moments so unfortunate meetings like the one in the article don’t happen. There is time and place for vulnerability and tenderness, and in daily lives our common sense needs to rule majority of the time.
As a collective of women we need to wake up and reclaim our power. We need to live our lives fully grounded on the earth, as mothers, sisters, teachers it is our duty not to give into victimization of anyone and to share and support women in HOW to live anchored to reality, so things like that don’t happen.
All of us as women have done things we are not proud of, things we would like to let go of and forget. Learning to deal with difficult feelings is part of my work as an awakening coach.
Shame can be challenging yet it only has power of you when it is attached to the story, when we can drop the story of shame and reclaim our energy and permit ourselves to feel the feeling as it is, it can only lead us to liberation.
When I look at my life and all the silliness I have done (with men in particular), I can laugh about it, with tears in my eyes, but I laugh. The model of Sweet Life I teach about is based in gratitude, when you arrive in gratitude for all the dumb, silly things you do, you reclaim your essence as a woman, you connect to your wildness, you know what you are capable of without going victim or without blaming anyone – you know your power.
Have you gone through something difficult, that you have a hard time letting go off? Drop me a line here and I will gently and with humour show you where your power lies in the situation and how to drop the story and feel the feelings. And once and for all let it go.