As the year is winding down, in a natural way many of us may be looking at what 2014 was really all about. For me it came down to relating – with life.
Some of my relationships begun to dissolve in late 2013 and this year for most part was challenging. I had to learn to defend myself, express myself better and overall re-establish my boundaries, as I dove deeper into my feminine. I came face to face with people who made me question how I live and in a subtle rather infuriating way.
Instead of doing ‘anything’ I left some things as they were. There was no point, I figured – to argue, rather to reflect deeply and see where the truth lies. The heart will never fail.
I am of Polish blood (with rather strong European roots) and live in latin america – thus I have a rather fiery nature and lots of passion for expression and living, not to mention romanticizing and fascination with nature of mind and existence.
Not always am I met with the same passion in others, instead occasionally I find myself against walls of rejection, judgements and coldness…
Making me wonder how these people ever have sex 😉
I have been reflecting and looking at relationships I have that do work (thank Goddess) 😉 Here is the best of relationships.
There are certain characteristics and I wish to share them here with you, as perhaps this latin sizzle will help you to live fuller and more expressed life.
Here are eight points and eight practices for you to try on for size.
- A warm welcome – all my friends that I know – know how to welcome me. I know. so basic. They are all really deeply aware of the fierce fire I carry and know how to tend the flames. They know how to use the medicine that I am. I can be totally myself.
- Practice: Look in your life at what is the medicine you carry – allow yourself to see it clearly – ask close friends who know you well [Tweet ““What do I bring to the room, that was not there before?” An easy way to find out who you are.”] Then see how you like to be received and cared for, how can you create a relationship and closeness together with those around you. True friends will be able to receive you FULLY with all you are, they will not dissect you to pieces of what is missing, what is wrong with you, and what needs to change. You will feel good.
- In brotherhood united – (change that to sisterhood with women). There is something I have observed about men’s friendships – they are WAY more solid than women. It is sad in some ways, and really true. Men do not gossip on one another, they do not back-stab, and generally know how to BE there for their brothers. They are less impressionable in some ways. As women we need to learn to build our relationships on our inner masculine energy, as we know how changing and finicky the feminine can be – and really learn to be with the feminine in a respectful way. [Tweet “All power in the universe is feminine in nature”] and we need to learn how to use and cultivate our inner power. It is also my observation of life that most women do not have a well established inner masculine. The awesome relationships that I have with women (and men) – are relationships that I can say are anchored in the ‘brotherhood’ and as a result our sisterhood can flourish, we can love our gifts, there is no jealousy, we know our medicine. Wild perspective. Perhaps. It is worth a look at.
- Practice: Take an inner reflection of self, how is your relationship with the inner masculine (for women) and inner feminine (for men). Allow yourself to step outside the stories and dramas and intrigues and see where and how you can cultivate more clarity, presence and centre in your relationships, from that place your inner feminine will flow as a gift to the world (for women), and for men you will have a greater respect towards the feminine.
- Connected to the Earth – The people in my life who I have known for years are really solid. They are spacious beings that live well anchored on the Earth. They know how to take in the consciousness of the Earth. They are very grounded.
- Practice: Notice what is your relationship with the Earth, what is the relationship with the Earth that others have in your life? How do you carry the consciousness of Earth in your being? Notice how you feel with people who are living grounded vs people who live in the eathers. I bet you get along way better with those who are super grounded to the Earth.
- Clear, honest & concise communication & humour – In all of my lasting relationships there is a super clear and concise dialog. These relationships have weathered the test of time because we were always able to say to each other clearly what is real, what bothers us about the other and what our needs are. No one beats around the bush, plays games or manipulates. We just don’t do it. We are clear. We cut the stories and get to the point. We also laugh at the stupidest things, and enjoy an occasional banter. 😉
- Practice: Notice in your current relationships who talks to “purge” i.e.: get rid of excess energy, and who is sharing authentically from the heart. The people who are able to be present with life are people who cut all stories and get to the point (with love, care and humour). Also notice with whom you can enjoy absolute silence, and who constantly needs to fill it with words.
- Current dialog – All relationships require nurturing. It is hard to know how anyone is doing if you have not heard from them personally. I live in latin america and a lot of my deep connections are scattered around the world from Haiti to Canada to Europe etc… With all the solid connections I stay in touch – through various means – a quick text, a Skype message or a call, a lunch, an evening out. Whatever it takes. You do it for the relationship not for anything else. Moreover it needs to be current. If you have not heard from someone in 6 months consider it a new venture.
- Practice: Notice who in your life (other than clients) only contacts you when they need something. Who is really there for all the moments, and how you feel about it all. Life is really about relationships. We have relationships with everything that is around us. The real ones and in the heart ones – they don’t care about dates they care about the significance of the moment itself. See who you enjoy your time with and want to nurture that connection more, and who needs a break.
- Our relationships involve money and/or business – yup – you read it right money – The most solid of all my relationships involved (or still do) business transactions, collaborations, projects. We saw the gifts we had to offer and the masteries as well as each other’s challenges and we decided to collaborate. It is all nice and cute to talk over a coffee, once the money is on the table you really get to see people clearly. Money cuts the small talk very fast and the airy-fairy goes out the window as you need to create focus and ground for the goal to manifest. In the same way a lot of relationships came very clearly to a screeching halt around the topic of money. As well around the topics of business and work, you can clearly see and feel who is your supporter and wants to see you do well.
- Practice: Look at your current friend list, who on that list is really there and you could collaborate with, these are the real connections that require real nurturing. You can go shoe shopping with anyone, it is much different when you are going to be creating a project or a venture. Some of these may stretch you beyond your expectations, others may nurture you deeply. In business you really can make or break a family and create super lasting bonds.
- They are all devotees of truth – All my lasting friendships and connections are devoted to truth and integrity and purpose. When I look at each one of these people they are living their lives right out – no holding back. They know why they are here, and they don’t support anything less than that.
- Practice: Which of your relations are devotees of truth? Which of your relationships are devotees of letting it all go (starting from scratch if necessary) for the sake of truth? Who is hiding in your life in a pile of excuses? Check it out.
- They don’t hold back on love – probably the most important point. [Tweet “The lasting relationships – do not hold back on love, on praise, and on support.”] They are most solid people of love. They do not wait for ‘the perfect moment’ they are giving love and support all the time. They are in touch with reality and see life clearly. As a result they don’t waste precious time on Earth with regrets or games, they just go for it, all the time.
- Practice: See who in your life is watching you and holds back on telling you how they really feel, who does not want to give praise, and who is mildly supportive. It is always interesting to observe these connections. [Tweet “Real love does not hold back – it is solidly there, holding you, supporting you, loving you fully.”]
So here is to a fabulous healings and great relationships. Aho Mitakuye Oyasin. To all my relations, the Earth is our witness. 🙂
Leave a comment if you are inspired: What are your tips for fabulous relationships based in Love?